Vidah Ryan

Old School Parenting Series – Blog 9

In recent years, there has been a significant shift in how we approach parenting, particularly when it comes to gender identity. Children are now allowed to make decisions about their own gender identities at a very young age. This is a new world of parenting that has emerged and it is changing the way we think about gender and childhood development. We are starting to forget that adolescence is a time of discovery. Our hormones and bodies change and we are just starting to build the foundation of our identities moving into adulthood. One must wonder – how does a child who is still physically and mentally growing, appropriately make decisions that will consequences for the rest of their lives. I think of all the mistakes I made as a teenage driven by my emotions and inexperience. I am thankful that my parents imparted their guidance and discipline. Now parents are asked to back away from discipline and instead let children independently make life altering decisions on their own.

For a long time, society has enforced strict gender roles, expectations and norms on children, based on their biological sex. Boys were expected to play with trucks and engage in rough and tumble play, while girls were encouraged to play with dolls and engage in more nurturing activities. However, this gender binary is becoming increasingly outdated and many parents are now allowing their children to explore their gender identities and express themselves in ways that were previously discouraged. I believe this is a great change to parenting, with exceptions. It is always important to allow them to express themselves openly but does it make sense for them to completely change their physical appearance and identity before their adolescence is complete?

This new world of parenting allows children to make decisions about their own gender identities very early on. Children as young as two or three years old are now being allowed to choose their own clothing, hairstyles and even names, based on their gender identity. This is a significant departure from traditional parenting, which often enforced strict gender roles and expectations on children from a very young age. I will argue that a child this young should not be making decisions this early. Without life experience, how can these decisions possibly be sound? Isn’t a parents job to impart their wisdom and life experience? Children should be taught early that decisions should not be made lightly and learning from experiences and age is a normal part of growing up.

One of the most significant changes in this new world of parenting is the increased acceptance and recognition of transgender and non-binary children. Transgender children are those who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, while non-binary children identify as neither male nor female. These children are now being supported and celebrated by their families, communities and society at large, which is a significant departure from the discrimination and marginalization that they faced in the past. I believe this is very progressive thinking but should not be done too early and certainly not before the child has almost completed their adolescence. If this is their choice, then waiting a few years to finalize doesn’t hurt anything. Besides, aren’t the best things in life worth waiting for?

However, this new world of parenting is not without its challenges. Some parents struggle to understand and accept their child’s gender identity, particularly if it is different from their own expectations and beliefs. This can lead to conflict within families and communities and may even result in children being ostracized or discriminated against. It is now becoming a world where the traditional beliefs can be the ones frowned upon and seen as biased too. We must all learn to respect one another despite the differing opinions.

Another challenge is the lack of guidance and support for parents who are navigating this new world of parenting. Many parents are unsure of how to support their child’s gender identity and may be afraid of making mistakes or doing the wrong thing. There is a need for more education, resources and support for parents, to ensure that they can provide the best possible care and support for their children. There also needs to be acceptance by parents that the world won’t change overnight. Just as women’s rights and slavery took years before change happened, parents can’t expect that the world will accept the new world of thinking overnight. There cannot be the assumption that people are being malicious because they don’t understand these changes or disagree with the differing lines of thought.

Despite these challenges, the new world of parenting when it comes to gender identity is a positive and empowering development. By allowing children to express their gender identities and explore their identities in a safe and supportive environment, we are creating a more inclusive and accepting society for all. Children who are supported and celebrated for who they are, regardless of their gender identity, are more likely to grow up to be confident, resilient, and successful adults. However, they should also be taught patience and humility to accept other viewpoints and understand that change takes time.

In conclusion, the new world of parenting when it comes to gender identity is a significant departure from traditional parenting, which enforced strict gender roles and expectations on children from a very young age. This new world allows children to make decisions about their own gender identities at a very young age and provides support and recognition for transgender and non-binary children. While there are challenges associated with this new world of parenting, such as a lack of guidance and support for parents, it is a positive and empowering development that is creating a more inclusive and accepting society for all. By allowing children to express their gender identities and explore their identities in a safe and supportive environment, we are setting them up for success and a more fulfilling future.